Last night was difficult.  I woke up around 3am in a cold sweat scared that this was when it starts to kick my ass.  So far I've been having as much fun as I can in here, but that was a dose of reality.  Any moment now these drugs could take over and start attacking my body and I have no idea when it's going to be.

I am so thankful for my wonderful nursing staff who reassure me on a regular basis that what I'm going through is normal and can explain what I may experience and when.  My nurse told me that cold sweats are actually a symptom of the cancer, and one of the first noticable symptoms (which is often what brings people to the doctor in the first place).  I guess the good news is that I'm already here and not just starting the diagnosis process.  As reassuring as this is, reality is still starting to hit me pretty hard and I know that this is just the beginning. 

Thank you for being here to hold my hand last night Chelsea.  I love you!